- That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
- That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person
- That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
- That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm
- That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant.
- That you have no control over some of the goals you set...
- That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby
- That miscarriage is so common.
- That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
- That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!
- That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.
- That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
- That family or friends would act like getting pregnant was a competition and the first one to get pg "wins".
- That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
- That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
- That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
- That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
- That infertility is more common than you think.
- That one day all of this will make us stronger.
- That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
- That my faith in God would be tested heavily
- That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pregnancies, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pregnancies.
- That some people just say the wrong things.
- That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!
- That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."
- That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have
- That I would be so sad, and ashamed.
- That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
- That it would make me mad when someone tells me “It’ll happen when God plans it.” Because there is no way that God is the one putting me through this heartache, sin has put me here, not God!
You must think I'm strong/ To give me what I'm going through/ Well, forgive me if I'm wrong/ But this looks like more than I can do/ On my own/ Hands of mercy won't you cover me/ Lord right now I'm asking you to be/ Strong enough/ Cause I'm broken/ Down to nothing/ But I'm still holding on to the one thing/ You are God/ and you are strong/ When I am weak/
Saturday, February 18, 2012
A while back when I was torturing myself during a 2 week wait I came across the following, which just fits the last 2 years so perfectly! :)
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6 comments:
My heart just breaks for you and my prayers are with you and Ted in your journey to add to your family...you've always been in my thoughts and prayers, even when I didn't know what was making your world such a sad place. ♥ Some food for thought: I wasn't sure what the "sin" part of this post was referring to...Your personal sin did not put you here and (like your post said) neither did God. We live in a fallen and broken world where bad crap happens and God sometimes doesn't prevent that bad and frustrating stuff from happening to His children, but everything that He does allow to happen, even when it is awful and heartbreaking and confusing, He will use for His glory, to expand His kingdom and to grow His children if we allow it and sometimes even in spite of us. This doesn't take away the frustration, or the heartache, or the questions, or the tiredness, or the desire to punch something really hard at times, but maybe it will help you to continue to walk the journey step-by-step with Him by your side even when that journey gets a bit rocky, shaky and unsure. Lots and lots of love and sticky baby dust to you. ♥ Always A Friend ♥
I'm so curious, who are you?? :)
I'm just a friend that cares and wanted you to know. :) ♥ I'm not meaning to be mysterious...I just don't want my identity to overshadow the message that God really burdened my heart to give to you. ♥
Oh ok, fine, but I'm still curious! :) Anyway, the "sin" that was being referred to was certainly not my own sin but sin in general. I believe my body isn't working the way it was created to because of sin, same reason we get cancer. So all I am saying is I don't think God is the one keeping us from having another baby, I believe it is sin. Male sense?
Yes, that makes complete sense and that is exactly what I was meaning about living in a fallen and broken world. :) And I think God was burdening my heart to reach out to you in order to affirm your belief that God has not caused this situation, but that He is walking this journey right beside you and will use this awful and frustrating time for His kingdom and glory, even if you don't know exactly what that looks like, yet. Take care and know that I will be keeping you in my prayers. :) ♥
thank you, I really appreciate that... whoever you are! :)
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